


An Important Conversation

by NoisyNoiverns



Category: Mass Effect (Comics), Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Brothers, Coming Out, Gen, LGBTQ Character, Sibling Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-18 18:36:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14858072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoisyNoiverns/pseuds/NoisyNoiverns
Summary: There's something Saren wants to tell his brother.





	An Important Conversation

“Saren, I’m home!”

Desolas’s voice echoed through the modest little apartment. He sounded in a good mood. Good.

Saren swallowed and got up from his desk, abandoning his half-finished report on the differences between insects on the three Council homeworlds for school. It was interesting, he supposed, but he hated writing reports. He _knew_ it, he just wasn’t good at putting it in words that didn’t sound like he was copying it directly from his sources. He’d rather be tested.

Besides, he’d barely gotten a sentence or two written since opening it earlier that afternoon. He had more important things to think about.

Des didn’t look up as Saren padded into the main room, just started talking like he’d been there from the start. “I don’t feel like cooking tonight,” he said, kicking the duffel bag stuffed with his armor over to one side of the entryway. “Delivery alright with you?”

Saren nodded mutely and gave a quick burst of an agreeing subvocal. They had delivery a lot, lately. Now that Des wasn’t in mandatory anymore, and was getting his training to be an officer, he came home tired a lot more. And Des didn’t like to cook when he was tired, so they ordered out.

“Alright then,” Des muttered, more to himself than to Saren, and ambled off towards the kitchen, undoing the clasps on his shirt.

Saren drifted after him, lightly scratching the back of his right hand. There were small, thin grooves on the plates there where he always scratched. Des said it was a bad habit, and he was going to scratch holes into the plates someday, but Saren couldn’t help himself. It soothed him. And right now, he could do with some soothing.

He’d spent all day on the extranet, looking for good ways to broach different topics, how to word what he wanted to say. He was _sure_ Des wouldn’t be upset, Des was always nice to him and understanding and supportive no matter what, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t afraid. Maybe this would be the _one_ thing Des couldn’t abide.

Des paused his rummage through the cabinets to eye him, one mandible flared, the other lowered. _Curious_ and _concerned._ “You’re quiet today,” he noted, and his subvocals confirmed what his mandibles suggested. “Everything alright?”

Saren tensed, his shoulders jumping up to the lip of his cowl. “I’m fine!” he blurted, a little too quickly. _Shit._ He cast about desperately for an explanation, stammering, “I’m just, um, thinking.” Oh, _brilliant,_ he scolded himself.

Des kept watching him for a moment, then turned back to the cabinet. “Thinking about what? How best to mother me without me catching on? I keep telling you, Sar, you don’t need to be worrying about me. You’re _twelve_ , the only thing you should be worrying about is how to scam your way into a vid you’re not old enough for.”

Saren forced down a whine. Okay, okay, this was a conversation he could handle. Des _hated_ it when he fussed over him. Something about how _he_ was the older brother, all fussing was _his_ responsibility. For someone who really just liked to laugh and goof around, he took being Saren’s guardian _very_ seriously. Saren could go along with this line of thought. “I don’t _mother_ you,” he complained, taking a few steps closer to him. “It’s not _my_ fault you take better care of me than yourself.”

“Ah, but you admit I take good care of you.” Des grinned and reached over to grab Saren’s wrist, then dragged him over for a hug and a very aggressive nuzzle to the top of Saren’s head, ignoring Saren’s squeal of protest. After his growth spurt the year before, Saren came up to his brother’s bicep, so Des’s hugs always came just a little bit shy of picking him up entirely, but the strength in his grip said it wasn’t for lack of trying.

Saren struggled and pushed at his chest, but not very hard. It didn’t _hurt,_ it was just _pressure_ on his _head. “Des!”_ he shrieked, subvocals ringing _annoyed-playful_. “Des, _stop!”_

Des laughed and obliged, letting go so he’d stumble back a couple steps. “Alright, alright, since you said stop,” he said, subvocals still thrumming with amusement as he waved a hand and went back into the cabinet.

Saren’s mandibles lifted, then fell back down again. _He’s in a good mood, just_ do it _, you coward,_ he told himself firmly. Everything, everywhere, said it was always best to start important conversations when the other person was in a good mood.

So he took a deep breath, then asked, “Hey, uh, Des? Can I, um, can I tell you something?”

“You can tell me what you want for dinner,” Des mused, finally re-emerging with a small stack of takeout menus. “I’ve got a hankering for burgers, but I’m open to suggestions.”

Saren faltered, then took another deep breath. Everything he’d thought about saying suddenly flew right out of his head. What was he supposed to say? How did he even _begin_ to tell him? “I, um…” Whatever. Nothing for it. “I think I’m gay,” he blurted out.

It took him a moment to realize Des wasn’t even looking at him, still flipping through menus. He hesitated, then asked, “Des?”

“Huh? Oh. Yeah, I kinda already figured that one, little dude, you’re, like, super not subtle. Y’know, I don’t _ever_ remember eating at this ‘The Cellar’ place, how’d we get their menu?”

Every racing thought in Saren’s head came screeching to a halt. He _what?_ “You… you already _knew?”_

“Well, I _guessed,_ more like. C’mon, you’re twelve years old and I’ve never heard you so much as mention a girl in your class before. And you never comment on the crestless I’m with, just the cresteds. If you do, you’re just saying you like her shirt or whatever. So I figured you were either a late bloomer or gay as shit, and if it was the second one then you’d tell me when you were ready.”

Saren’s mind whirled. He’d _guessed?_ Was it _that_ obvious? His gizzard churned, and he took an unsteady step back, mandibles fluttering wildly. To his surprise, that was what got Des to look at him, and his mandibles dropped quickly. “Hey, buddy, easy,” Des said, reaching out to put a hand behind his cowl to steady him. “Breathe a bit, okay?”

Saren let Des guide him over to the kitchen table to sit down, his gizzard tying itself into knots. It was the best response he could have hoped for, what was he freaking out over? He was _twelve,_ he should have been able to be calmer about it.

Des set the menus on the table and crouched down to look at him. “Saren, buddy, are you okay?” he said softly, bright blue eyes searching his face intently. “C’mon, bud, it’s alright, really. I promise.”

Saren tried to swallow but just made a choked noise instead, looking at his hands. “I know, I just…” He started scratching again, talon-tips sliding neatly into the little grooves. “I don’t know, you didn’t react how I thought you would. Everything I read said it’s always this deep, emotional conversation, but you barely responded at all, and… And I don’t know, I guess I was just expecting more than ‘okay cool, what do you want to eat?’”

Des was quiet for what felt like an age. Then he let out a little laugh, almost startling Saren, and bumped foreheads with him affectionately. “Aw, c’mon, Sar, I thought you knew better than to believe everything you read on the extranet,” he teased. “I mean, I’ve brought dudes home before, didn’t you think about that?”

Saren paused, then frantically flipped back through his memories, neck heating and head dropping towards his cowl. _“Oh,”_ he said quietly. “I… I didn’t really think they were dates…”

Des grinned, subvocals humming _relieved-amused-affectionate._ “It’s alright, you were just a kid. I’m bi, little dude, I’m the _last_ person who should be giving you shit for who you like. And you’ve met some of my dates before, you should know that. I’m big enough to admit I can have pretty shit taste.”

Saren’s mandibles started to creep upwards, and he picked up his head again. “You kinda do,” he admitted.

“See? You know better than me already.” Des gave his shoulder a friendly little punch. “Don’t lock your plates, bud. It’s not a big deal. And if anyone tries to _make_ it one, you send ’em to me, yeah? I’ll set ’em straight.”

He winked, and Saren finally managed a proper smile. “Thanks, Des.”

“Yeah, yeah, no problem, dork.” Des leaned over and gave him another hug, nuzzling him gently, then pulled back and pushed himself to his feet. “Just promise me one thing, okay?”

Saren blinked and tilted his head. “What?”

Desolas fluttered his mandibles, and his subvocals sang pure amusement. “Any boyfriend you get, you have to bring home to meet me, so I can remind him that if he fucks you up, I’ll fuck _him_ up, got it?”

Saren almost choked on his tongue. _“Des!”_

“What? Mom and Dad aren’t around, so _somebody’s_ gotta threaten your romantic interests with tying their bones in knots, and we both know you’re too much of a flower-eater to do it.”

“I am _not_ a flower-eater!” Saren protested, but he was smiling again. “You’re a jerk.”

Des grinned again and cuffed him around the head affectionately. “I’ll get you to cuss out loud one of these days, swear on Mom’s pyre. Now c’mon, you still haven’t said what you want for dinner. And just so you know, if you say ‘dick’ or ‘ass,’ I am morally obligated to beat your punk ass.”

Saren choked out a startled little laugh, and quickly turned to rifle through the menus Des had left on the table. The knot in his chest had untangled, replaced by a warm, pleasant feeling. Des had his back, like he always did. Really, what had he been so afraid of?

**Author's Note:**

> happy pride my dudes, gay culture is writing wish-fulfillment via fictional characters of your loved ones being super chill and supportive when you come out


End file.
